How to: Talk to your son about 'wet dreams'

Donna Hussey-Whyte

Monday, June 08, 2009

NOCTURNAL emissions, commonly called 'wet dreams' are uncontrollable emissions made by a male during sleep. They are also referred to as spontaneous orgasms.

Since boys begin to have wet dreams when they reach puberty - usually between the ages of nine and 15, it is important that as a parent/guardian you arm yourself with the necessary information to impart on your son by age nine.

Remember the first rule - ensure that you look and feel comfortable when talking to him. If you are able to have this talk, over time it will be more natural for both of you. If you are comfortable talking, your son will believe that this is indeed a natural part of growing up and nothing for him to be ashamed of.
Important information to tell your son:

. Explain to him that a wet dream is the uncontrolled ejaculation of semen from the penis during sleep, which is caused by sexual arousal and orgasm from dreams and/or physical stimulation like rubbing against blankets, the bed or a full bladder.

. His first ejaculation may occur during a dream and when he wakes up he may not realise what happened, therefore tell him he should not be alarmed, as this is something experienced by most boys his age.

. The fluid is sticky, creamy or clear in colour, not like urine.

. Tell him he can't control them, and that ejaculation is just a physical sign that he's growing into manhood.

. Explain the whole concept of an erection to him so when his friends make reference to it or he notices the erection of other boys (even babies), he will not wonder about his own erections and physical responses.

. Explain what will cause an erection to occur.

. Let him know that wet dreams are most common during teenage and early adult years. However, it may happen anytime during or after puberty. The emission may happen with or without an erection, and it is possible to wake up during, or to simply sleep through the ejaculation.

. Explain the chemistry, that wet dreams begin during puberty when the body starts making more testosterone, the major male hormone. Explain that when boys enter puberty a lot of hormonal changes occur. These changes can result in spontaneous erections during sleep, even sleep during the day.

. Although some boys may feel embarrassed or even guilty about having wet dreams, they can't be controlled and he can't stop them from happening.

. Tell him too that generally, males have fewer wet dreams once they start masturbating, reach the end of puberty or become sexually active (but be certain to talk to him about responsible sexual behaviours).

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